Home, Sweet Disaster Area

There's a mostly-full coffee mug in the upstairs bathroom. At first glance, one would assume it mine. It is, after all, the Eeyore mug that Bear gave me for my birthday last year.

Alas, no. Husband left it there this morning after he came in (while I was showering) for a good-bye kiss, a quick ogle and a last sip of coffee before he headed downstairs (where the kitchen is) and off to work (leaving the bathroom door wide open so the draft could pounce in to tackle the luscious steam heat that I had managed to capture).

At this point, it's slightly more than 14 hours old. I'm giving 10 to 1 odds that it'll still be there when we get back from Holiday World on Wednesday.

Husband and I have been working a lot. Mostly opposite hours. He's off on Monday and some arbitrary other day of the week. I'm off on weekends. The heathens are in daycare on Monday and all the other arbitrary work days of the week. They're off on weekends.

I'm a mostly-single mom (according to me, I certainly am not intending to put myself in the single mom's place, they're goddesses). I do all of the shopping (with heathens in tow), cooking, cleaning, laundering, auto-maintaining (on my car), library-running, movie-returning (without the benefit of movie-watching), dry-cleaning-drop-offing, grounding, yelling, no-saying and anti-depressant taking. Plus, I work a 40-50 hour week. And, I have to stay on top of the whole birth control thing just to keep the heathens from becoming any more plural.

In addition to all of the othering-ing I've been doing for the past week, I've also been sick-kid-coddling (surprise! it's not even a holiday) and sick-me-coddling. The living room is a pit, the kitchen is actually clean except for the dishwasher that simply needs to be unloaded and the laundry is done (as much as laundry can really be "done").

So, I'm leaving the cup.

I am smart enough and experienced enough to realize that The Grand Experiment never works. All of the "sigh"'s, and "Honey, that cup is nasty"'s and "Would you take that cup to the kitchen before it takes over the fucking bathroom?"'s in the world aren't going to make a dent in good ole Husband's "Oh, did I leave that cup there?" mentality. He was done with it, therefore it ceased to exist. All it's really going to do is piss me off.

The heathens might notice it though. I'm sure they'll say something. Probably to me, sure, but maybe to him after I repeat "Your daddy left it there." about 65,000,000 times.

Doomed to failure, I take a stand. I'm not sure if that makes me brave or stupid. It does make me feel a little superior. And hopeful. That may just be the anti-depressants talking though.

Ironically, I'm reading The Plague

Bear now has whatever the hell it was that Bug had last Monday. The biggest deal? She pretended to be sick last Tuesday. When the day care called today, we told them to tell her to go play. We didn't believe she was sick until the school nurse called and said she'd thrown up.

Naturally, she has to be symptom-free for 24 hours. She can't go back to school tomorrow even if she's perfectly fine. Bastards. This means that I can't go back to work tomorrow even if she's perfectly fine.

Husband claims he's sick too. Whatever. It's not enough that I do the laundry, shopping, cook the meals, make sure they do their homework, work 40+ hours a week, pay the bills and clean the bathrooms. Now, I have to be perfectly functional while he stresses out about the sick fucking kids.

I want to go away. Just a weekend. Somewhere clean and quiet with no cell phone reception. I'll take 6 books and my pajamas. That's it. Maybe I'll take my iPod. Maybe.

All in all, it's been a pretty shitty past week. Wait. Don't tell me. Wednesday is Valentine's Day. It's a holiday (ear infection).

Six year olds have a penchant for the understatement.

We went out to dinner and shopping tonight after work/school. Wow. Family dinner (ear infection).We had them try on a couple of dresses at Old Navy.

In the dressing room, Bear pulled Bug in front of the mirror, giggled in her Bear way and said "We look like twins!"

Uhm. Duh.

Blog, take me away

It's Wednesday. Oh Holy Night, is it ever Wednesday.

Of two children, only one has been in school every day this week. And it isn't even the same one. Bug started puking about 5 Monday morning, she stayed home from school and threw up until about 1pm, then spent the rest of the day lying on the couch in a dehydrated way, staring at the TV.

Bear, jealous of her sister, pretended to be sick yesterday. She wasn't. So, instead of staying at day care and going to school like a normal, healthy child, she was forced to sit on the couch and watch TV all day (by her father, I went to work - I miss work...). She didn't go to sleep last night until after 11.

Bug woke me up about 4:30 this morning, crying that her stomach hurt and that she was going to throw up. She went back to sleep clutching a sippy cup of water and a plastic ServNSaver Rubbermaid "bucket" around 5:30. At 6:30 she comes wailing into the bathroom, interrupting my shower with "Daddy won't help me!" Daddy offered her a cracker because, well, she's barely eaten in two days.

Husband took them both to day care this morning. I escaped to work only to remark to my boss, "I expect a call from school/daycare at some point." I was worried about strep. Seems it's going around. (When isn't it?)

But, my kids don't get strep. They get ear infections. They get ear infections like dogs get fleas. Step outside? Ear infection. Take a bath? Ear infection. It's a holiday/birthday/vacation? Ear infection. You say it's Black History Month? Holy cow, ear infection.

For Bug, this is her third ear infection since Thanksgiving. She hasn't even lost one of the tubes she got last January yet. It's still there. Currently, it's leaking pus. The other ear would, but that tube fell out 4 months after it was put in. (Hooray! A growth spurt! ear infection.)

At some point, kids grow out of this, right? When? Just tell me when. If I could know that in six months, I'll never have to deal with another ear infection again, I would be fine. Yes, sir, just slim freakin' shady fine.

Of course, it's been Bear who's complained (intermittently) about her ear hurting since Sunday. She's fine though, just jealous of her sister.

And people think it's funny to ask "Do they get sick at the same time." My general answer is "No. But they tend to get sick in the same week." The main reaction to that is a blank look.

Duh, people, come on. They share everything. Everything. They shared a placenta. They shared a crib. They share a bedroom and a closet and toys and games and clothes and parents and, yes, even viruses. Everything. Why is it so difficult to believe that when one is sick on Monday, we expect (and try to plan for) the other to get sick on Thursday? That's the way it works.

So here I sit, work laptop filled with work to do, escaping into the Blog. I'd rather be in the office. It's quieter there and more amusing too. Maybe I'll get to go in tomorrow...

Starting...

So, what am I doing starting a blog? I dunno. Thought it might be fun. Thought someone might find the stream-of-consciousness rantings of a working mom of twins interesting. Thought maybe I could purge my stress in a regular round of rants like I purged my womb six years ago in the delivery room. Thought I'd at least see what all the fuss was about.

Yeah, twins. Yeah, identical. Surprisingly, both girls. Yes, I can tell them apart. No, I don't get them mixed up if given more than a millisecond to think about it. No, I did not have fertility treatments, I'm just lucky. (Admit it, you were thinking it even if you wouldn't have the audacity to ask a total stranger that question.)

They're six now. Just celebrated their birthday. Well, still celebrating actually. Last Sunday we took the to get Heelys, every grade schoolers dream tennis shoe. Monday, nothing. Tuesday, dinner with their former babysitter J and her family and mail from Memaw and Pepaw (Husband's dad and step-mom). Wednesday, shopping bonanza at Walmart with a gift card left over from a Christmas return and dinner, just the three of us. Thursday brought two packages from Nana (Husband's mom) filled with lots of lip gloss, more pencils (they have about 6000), necklaces and $10 each. Friday was a dinner and a movie out with Husband (while I had a few post-stressful week drinks with my supervisor.).

Tomorrow is The Great Sleepover of 2007. The guest list is a repeat of last year, two girls from their daycare class. Christ almighty, this birthday isn't going to stop. Oh, and my dad is planning to come over Sunday, weather permitting.