The Antimicrobial Properties of the Paper Towel

Has anyone looked into this? It has to be amazing. 450 telephone nurses couldn't be wrong. Or could they?

First of all, these women are the most disgusting bathroom users on the planet. They rarely flush, they pee all over the seat, the counter tops are generally covered with water. They talk on the freaking phone in the stalls, for Christ's sake. Who calls their insurance agent while they're taking a whizz? I certainly don't.

They do the normal "I'm afraid of the Bad Germies" door thing with the paper towel. Too bad they can't actually get the paper towel into the trash can when they're done. Too bad, too, that they can't pick up after themselves after they throw their paper towels on the floor.

So. Paper towels have an amazing capacity to keep Bad Germies off your hands when you open the bathroom door from the inside (supposedly, we've all washed our hands, right? Those are some strong Bad Germies.) The also have an amazing capacity to keep Bad Germies off your hands while turning off the faucet after you've washed your hands. (Remember! The last time you touched the faucet, your hands were still dirty.)

The other day, I saw one of these women bring her McDonald's sack into the bathroom (even I draw the line there and I touch the door handle with my bare skin!). She pulls 4 or 5 of these wondrous little paper towels from the holder, slaps them down on the counter top (ew!) and sets her lunch bag on it.

Tada! McDonald's lunch, free from the Bad Germies! And now, she doesn't even have to carry the Bad Germies back to her desk with her! She can leave them in the bathroom where they belong!

Amazing.

I'd like to make a call, right now. Anyone who has the time, energy and training to study the Bad Germie repelling powers of the average public bathroom paper towel, please do some research on this. I'd love to post it on the bathroom mirror and see the reaction.